What else could I have done? 1

Last Good Friday I shared a series of brief meditations as part of our Good Friday Service. To be honest I'd forgotten about them, but some one in one of the churches I serve mentioned them the other day. They follow the Passion narrative in Luke, and try to give some thought to how the supporting cast in this drama may have been feeling as those tragic yet wonderful events unfolded.

So, here's part 1 - Judas.

Look, things didn’t work out quite as I’d hoped, I have to say. From the look on Simon’s face I’m not going to be welcome back in the group again: I’ve never seen him so angry – and that’s not nice to see when he’s got a dirty great sword in his hand. Poor Malchus: though you’d hardly know he lost that ear now to look at him.

I just felt that someone had to do something. After the way the crowd greeted us last Sunday, I just thought ‘this is it! The revolution starts here: an end to Roman tyranny!’ But instead of leading us to the Fortress Antonia, Jesus went to the Temple, and started causing a riot there. I thought ‘this isn’t how it’s supposed to be; this isn’t what I expected at all’.

So I decided I had to try and force his hand. Box him into a corner, so that he’d come out fighting. That’s why I went to the High Priest… Oh the others will say I only did it for the money: they think I’ve had my fingers in the till for years now, that that’s all I’m interested in. But I only want what’s best – for everyone.

He knew I was going to do it, you know… he said so last night while we were eating. I don’t think any of the others saw me slip out – too busy arguing among themselves who was the best, the most loyal: well, they all ran away when he was taken: not one of them stayed.

I feel dreadful, I really do. They’ve taken him to the High Priest: God knows what’ll happen to him now… But what else could I have done?

(c) John Simms 2010